YOUR SO FUCKED UP!
by Manley24
Summary: Summary: Silas says, "Y-yeah," because—well, fuck knows why, because apparently it's impossible to be a morally decent Botwin and because right now he's pretty sure he might die if somebody doesn't touch his dick. A/N: Set during 6x02, so spoilers up until then. Yeah. I can't lie, this is a pretty weird story.


Summary: Silas says, "Y-yeah," because—well, fuck knows why, because apparently it's impossible to be a morally decent Botwin and because right now he's pretty sure he might die if somebody doesn't touch his dick. A/N: Set during 6x02, so spoilers up until then. Title from, uh, 'Erection' by The Faint. Yeah. I can't lie, this is a pretty weird story.

_**"You are so fucked up!"**_

Shane just shrugs, and Silas shakes his head. He doesn't want to start another fight—in the past, he wouldn't have even worried about Shane overpowering him, but now his little brother's a murderer and the look in his eyes when he threw himself at him earlier was more than a little unnerving. He doesn't want to risk it.

"What? Would you rather I was wallowing in guilt?" Shane says scornfully.

"Well—yeah," Silas stammers. "I mean, like a normal person."

Shane wrinkles his nose. "I am a normal person."

Silas snorts. "A normal person who killed somebody."

Shane rolls his eyes. "Oh, I just feel so bad for the heroic act of protecting my family," he says, heavily sarcastic. "I don't know how I can live with myself."

Silas can't help it. His brother's apparent inability to see this for what it is infuriates him, and he finds himself grabbing Shane by the shoulders and actually shaking him.

"Would you stop talking about yourself as a hero and realise you're a fucking murderer?" he snaps, but Shane just laughs, which makes the anger flare up inside Silas even more.

He shakes Shane a little too violently, and Shane lashes out, pushing him backwards onto the bed and clambering on top of him. They wrestle, and within seconds, Shane's got him pinned, straddling him at the hips and holding his shoulders down with surprising (and slightly scary) strength. Silas struggles, tries to heave Shane off him, but before he even has the chance, Shane's ducking down, coming right at him. Silas only just manages to jerk his head out of the way in time, and when he looks back up, Shane's face is mere inches away and looking vaguely irritated.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Silas demands.

"Well, I was trying to do this," Shane says, and this time Silas doesn't get a chance to move, and Shane's lips are against his, pressing with a strange combination of tenderness and persistence.

It only lasts about a couple of seconds, while Silas is too shocked to react, and then his hand's on Shane's chest and pushing him away with all his might. Wild-eyed and sweating, feeling his heart pounding worryingly fast, he stares up at his little brother, who appears just as calm as ever (if not more).

"What—what the fuck," is all Silas can manage this time.

Shane straightens up, settling back across Silas's hips. This position is making Silas increasingly uncomfortable, but Shane just looks at him questioningly as there's absolutely nothing out of the ordinary going on.

Silas gestures a little frantically at him. "Well?" he says. "What the fuck was that?"

"Uh, that was a kiss," Shane says, slowly, like he's talking to a preschooler. "I'm pretty sure you've experienced it before, I didn't realise you were gonna need an explanation."

"I fucking do need an explanation," Silas exclaims. Jesus. As if jacking off to those old pictures of Mom wasn't enough, now Shane wants to make out with his brother?

He can't deal with Shane straddling him like this any longer so he pushes him back, which leads to another brief bout of unanticipated wrestling and somehow ends up with Silas pinning Shane down on the bed, lying right on top of him. But Shane just quirks an eyebrow at him and says nothing.

"That," Silas hisses through his teeth, "that—kissing—whatever—that's not okay, dude. I'm not okay with that."

"Okay," Shane replies.

"Okay?" Silas repeats.

Shane looks at him like he's the one being weird. "Okay..." he says again. A pause. "So can you get off me now? I might get mixed signals."

Silas does get off him (immediately, at that) and settles back on the bed again to watch whatever it is he was watching on TV before. He barely has a chance to work out what it actually is before Shane's talking again.

"So does your rejection of me stem from the social stigma against incest, or is it just that I'm not your type?" he enquires.

Silas looks at him, momentarily speechless.

"Dude, we're brothers," he manages eventually. "Plus, I'm...you know, not gay?"

"Is that both, then?"

"What?" Silas is floundering. "Mom," he calls, "Shane's being weird!"

"That's because he's a psychopath now, get used to it," comes Nancy's voice from the bathroom.

"Oh, so it's normal for psychopaths to be into incest?" Silas ignores the sharp jab of Shane's elbow into his ribs.

"What?" Nancy's head appears from around the corner this time. She's wearing another wig, this one an unnatural red and hanging in tight curls to her chin.

"He said—" Silas starts, but his mother violently shakes her head, red ringlets bouncing ridiculously.

"No, never mind, I don't want to know," she interrupts him, ducking back into the bathroom. "I really don't want to know," they hear her mutter from inside.

"I wanna know," says Andy, coming out wearing some rather bizarre false facial hair. He pauses. "What do I wanna know?" he asks, apparently having been too wrapped up in his disguise makeover to hear them.

"Shane—" Silas starts, but for some reason finds himself unable to actually say it. "Sh—" he tries again, to no avail.

Andy strokes his beard pensively. "Wow, you can't even say it? That bad, huh?" A thought suddenly strikes him. "Oh god, he didn't kill anyone else while we weren't looking, did he?"

"No," Silas sighs. "He's just...being a freak."

"Oh, well what else is new," Andy says, losing interest, and disappears back into the bathroom.

Shane reaches over Silas for the remote, which makes Silas tense up rather excessively, and turns up the volume. He waits a moment or two, as though he's genuinely interested in hearing about the antique teapots the old lady on the TV is selling, and then he looks back at Silas and says,

"So. When's the last time you had sex?"

Silas frowns at him. "What? I don't know." Too long ago. "Why?"

"Just asking. I know you can't go that long without it, that's all. And hey, if you ever need an extra hand to—"

"Woah, woah," Silas cuts him off, but Shane is already making a crude gesture anyway.

"I have a mouth, too," Shane goes on, popping out one of his cheeks with his tongue and bringing the gesture to his lips to make it even cruder. "A pretty good one, or so I've been told."

"What?" Silas bursts out. "Who've you—"

He pauses, trying to get a hold of himself and the situation in general. He licks his dry lips without thinking, and inadvertantly makes Shane smirk. Silas lowers his voice, hisses, "Who've you been sucking off?"

Shane shrugs, settling back against the headboard casually. He's toying with the drawstring of his pants and it's making Silas nervous. "Oh, you know, just some guys." He flashes Silas a look. "Why, you jealous?"

"No! What is wrong with you?"

"I don't know, apparently I'm a psychopath."

Silas frowns, chewing his lip in agitation. That answer doesn't really explain this, at least not enough for his liking. It doesn't explain why his little brother is relentlessly, unabashedly hitting on him all of a sudden, or why he's acting like it's no big deal (just like he's acting like murdering a woman is no big deal either, Silas reminds himself). It doesn't explain why he's apparently been sucking off random guys, and it sure as hell doesn't explain why Silas can't get that fucking image out of his mind—of Shane on his knees for some guy, a big hand raking through his hair as his head bobs back and forth, hot hard flesh stretching his lips—

Jesus Christ. Maybe he really does need to get laid.

"This—this is not something I want to talk about," Silas says firmly.

"Okay," Shane shrugs. "I'm just saying. I know you can't go that long without jerking off, and it's gonna be a little cramped here, so..."

He gestures to the bed that they're gonna have to share tonight, and Silas's heart sinks. They really, really need to find somewhere with more beds next time.


End file.
